At night I lie awake and imagine that my breasts are sore
The cramps I feel are signs of embryo implantation
I dream about how it will be when we finally have our baby
The sights, the smells, the sounds
I let myself dream and imagine these things
I will not give up the hope of them ever happening

During the day realism takes over
My breasts are no longer sore
The cramps feel more like the start of my period
When I see spotting at first I get excited
I imagine that my embryos are implanting
Then I remember how my cycle failed after spotting last time
I can not imagine that I will ever be a mother

As the hours pass, I waver between joy and despair
How many more times will I have to go through this
I rub my stomach and softly whisper
Stay with me this time

--Brenda