Nancy's Story: A Circle of Friends and Two Lines, Twice

I think I always “knew” that we would not be able to conceive without help. Don’t ask me why, perhaps because it’s been part of our reality for so long that is just the way I remember it. We married young – at 22. But waited to start trying to have children until we were more settled and done university. I am a type I diabetic and we also waited until I was given the go ahead by my doctors that my diabetes was in good control.

We started trying to conceive in the summer of 1996. By the mid point of 1997, we knew that things weren’t happening. My GP referred me to an OBGYN who prescribed clomid and timed intercourse. Little did I know that using clomid without any kind of testing and monitoring is not recommended although the practice is widespread. I am not a “timed” intercourse kind of girl and had trouble even being interested in trying on those specific days. We used clomid for 8 months and on the 9th month of using clomid – I woke up in the middle of the night in the most horrible pain I have ever been in. We headed to our local ER where they couldn’t determine what was wrong but I was given pain meds and sent home and told to wait to come in for an ultrasound in the morning. It turned out that I had a large (5cm plus) cyst on my right ovary from using the clomid.

We decided the time had come to seek a more “professional” level of doctor who only worked with couples trying to conceive and we were referred to a clinic that a friend of mine had used. After some testing on both of us – we fell into the abyss that infertility specialists like to call “unexplained” infertility. No known reason why we can’t conceive but as the now two years of trying showed – we had not conceived. This doctor recommended IUI with clomid. I responded incredibly well and in my naiveté did not realize that having eight follicles of mature size was NOT a good thing – I thought it was. Little did I or my husband realize at the time that we were possibly setting ourselves up for a HOM pregnancy and all of the complications and difficult decisions that could follow. No one ever mentioned to us the risks we were taking. In hindsight, it was an extremely good thing that we didn’t ever get pregnant via IUI. After meeting with our doctor, where we asked to proceed to IVF and he said he didn’t think we needed to – we left this clinic and were referred to another new clinic.

Our new clinic would be our third doctor and our second clinic. After reviewing our charts and all of our previous IUI cycles – our new doctor agreed that IVF was the way to go for us and in addition, discussed the multiple risks we had taken monthly while proceeding with IUI with multiple mature size follicles. Our new doctor said that I was a great responder and would have to watch carefully for signs of OHSS – hyperstimulation during my IVF cycle.

At this point, life intervened and I lost my job. Although I found a new one – I re-evaluated my life and decided that the best decision for me was to go back to school and change careers. We decided to reluctantly put our family dreams on hold while I did this…no one mentioned the concern of a ticking fertility time clock – I was 32/33 when I decided to do this. We, at this point, had been ttc in some form or another for five plus years – we had watched our friends and family all become parents and although we were happy for all of them – this was heartbreaking for us to know we had not succeeded and had been left behind. Ironically we had been trying to conceive longer than any of them and had been married for ten years at this point. People had already stopped asking when we would be having a family.

I was 34 by the time I went back to the clinic to start our first IVF cycle. We did our first IVF cycle in February 2005. I responded incredibly well on a low dose of meds and as partially expected, I developed OHSS following retrieval. My transfer was cancelled on the table while I was laying there waiting for transfer and our six blastocysts were frozen for future use. My doctor was ultra-conservative and was unwilling to risk the possibility of me getting pregnant and developing full-blown OHSS in addition to the diabetes. It was at this point that some random Google search found IVFC and my life changed.

Up until this point, I had been very alone in my journey. No one in real life to discuss what we were going through with and no one who understood what it was like to have someone tell me that they were expecting. I also found cycle buddies – cycle buddies who were cycling at the same time as me and cycle buddies who went to the same clinic and doctor that I was going to. I felt like I had friends in my computer.

We froze six blasts in February 2005. I did my first FET in April 2005 – we transferred two and this cycle was unsuccessful. We did some further testing and in December 2005 did another FET. Again we thawed and transferred two. Again the cycle was a failure. At this point, both my husband and I just wanted to be done – we felt that we had almost reached the end of this incredibly long and heart breaking journey and we agreed to do our last FET in March 2006. We expected this cycle, like the others to fail, and just wanted it to be over with so we could move on with our lives and walk away from clinics, daily blood draws, ultrasounds and heartbreaking results.

For this cycle, I found a group of fantastic ladies who all were going to have pregnancy tests around the same date. Both my husband and I went into this FET with no expectations that this would work. In the few days before my transfer – we bought a sailboat with the intention to enjoy a “double income no kids” lifestyle and sail our summers away on the local bay in our new boat. Our transfer date was March 17th – I joked that perhaps the luck of the Irish was with us this time. We arrived at the clinic on the 17th and transferred our last two blasts. My pregnancy test was scheduled for two weeks later. And so we started what we believed would be our last 2WW.