Kate's Story Part 1: 39 and Still Single

In my 30s I spent a lot of time trying to meet Mr. Right but just never seemed to find someone I clicked with. Was I too picky? Just unlucky? I don't know – but for whatever reason, I turned 39 and was still single. That summer I attended a friend's baby shower and coming home, started to bawl (on the subway – quite a sight!), because I realized that life was passing me by and I didn't want to miss out on being a parent, on having a child. So I decided that day to take matters into my own hands – ok, the guy thing wasn't working out yet, but I could do something about having a baby right now. I decided that I would have a baby using donor sperm and then work on finding a life partner.

Over the next few months I got my ducks in order – financial plan, changed jobs to something more stable (I had been working as an independent consultant), move to be close to my family, OB-GYN visit for some pre-conception counseling... At that visit my OB referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for when I started to try to conceive – and before I left she told me not to wait too long – in fact, if I could, get started right away. I remember thinking at the time, I'm only 39. I mean, yes, I knew that fertility starts to decline after 35, but women around me are having babies at this age all the time. I'm healthy, have regular cycles and am in great shape – I should have no problem getting pregnant. My only fertility problem was lack of a man to knock me up, right?? I waited until I was settled in my new job, so was 40 and a few months when I got started.

My RE suggested a series of 6 unmedicated intrauterine inseminations (IUI) with donor sperm to start. I had baseline lab testing that looked good – normal FSH, Estrogen, etc. My clinic required a a test where they inject dye into the fallopian tubes to make sure there wasn't any blockage – mildly uncomfortable and crampy, but I passed with flying colors. The IUIs were fairly easy – just a few ultrasounds to check the size of my follicle, a shot in my butt to time the ovulation, and then return to the clinic the next day for the insemination. Five cycles, five IUIs, and five times I didn't get pregnant. By this point I was getting a bit worried. I had been reading more about advanced maternal age and its effects on fertility. So I decided to skip the last IUI and move to IVF in the hopes of increasing my chances.

Next ...
Kate's Story Part 2: Consumed by the IVF Cycle
Kate's Story Part 3: Where Are You, Baby?
Kate's Story Part 4: I Had Come So Close
Kate's Story Part 5: Having My Daughter in My Arms